putting on the brave face

So everyone has read about the Seal 6 team that died yesterday in Afghanistan.. It is such a sad day for our entire military brethren. First off, my thoughts and prayers are with the SEALS family, friends and Navy comrades. I read the news yesterday with SG was talking to his "pops" in Vegas. He was sitting next to me having a casual conversation with this man, resting his arm and hand right on the top of my leg. As he continued to talk, I continued to read. I read and read and read, and the part that stuck out to me was that in 48 hours, SG will be in that same exact area, under the same conditions, risking his life for us in this war that has raged on for 10 years. He will be working with the Helo's and make comments about convoys and needing to go to main FOBs to get the essentials. I want to scream to him that the essentials are his life and his PPE.. I am not against what we are doing over there, but it is different when it is someone who you actually know, and care about. Regardless of where SG and I go in our relationship, I will always be that person that cares.

With that being said, he is going to stop by in a while to gather up some more necessities, and say goodbye to us. I have been forced once again to put that brave face on and watch him leave again. My daughter will hug me and rub my back and it will take every ounce of my being not to break down. Momma breaking down is not good for the family. once he is gone, I will count the days until I hear from him, I will incessantly check my E-mail for everything, and I will hope and pray for his safe return until he is back. 

the storms

Man talk about not so bright and shiny. Life was great on Thursday and Friday, then Saturday came around and everything went downhill. While SG still wants a relationship with me as I do with him, there is a third party, his EX. They are cohabitating right now because he leaves on Monday for the 'Stan. She is upset with him because he has moved on and she hasnt. She said if they were going to live together then he should out of respect, not do things.. OK I dont get it. He lived in an apartment on his own for a year. He moved back to the house (using that term loosely because half of the SHIT is here and he isnt) to save $$ while he is gone. When he gets back from the Stan, she will have moved on to a new location. Then can we return to where we were? Thats the question? Why does he feel as though he needs to sneak around to visit? There is NOTHING going on between the 2 of them and I know that, but I guess a 10 year relationship between the 2 of them and there is some unsettled business.

Where does that leave me? I feel brushed off, and put to the side in what is SGs last week here before he leaves for 8 months.. What do I do? (if I had followers, I am sure I would get comments.. OYE)
 I want to spend every moment that we can together, but he feels as though he has a curfew.. GEEZ

being home for 24 hours

to realize how completely nutty my family is. I really miss having them around and I am hoping that on a wing and a prayer that in a few short years, we can all live in the same state (Wishful Thinking) Being home, was such a fantastic time for me and Jackson. Elizabeth was able to stay an additional week. Not only did we get to do fun things, but Jack was able to bond with family members who only get to see him every so often. Cole and Jackson became fast friends again and the best swimming partners imaginable. Saucy (our dog) came along for the ride and hung out all week with her furry cousins. She swam in the lakes for her first time ever and LOVED every moment of it. Elizabeth my fantastic TWEEN, played with the kids at McCartys Cove and helped build castles and jump from the rocks. I am so blessed that my kids are just like me.. We can go and do in a moments notice. My son was a trooper on the road trip, we swam in Wisconsin on the way up, stopped in Escanaba and swam on Lake Michigan as a pit stop, and as soon as we made it to GiGis, we got our swimming gear and headed to Teal Lake. By the end of the week, J was jumping off the dock by himself, and putting his whole head underwater trying to be a fish. I LOVE THAT LIFE for both of my kids.

Jack and I got home yesterday at about 3, and his dad came to pick him up for the weekend (insert sad face here) I then emptied the car, did a load of laundry, and experienced dinner driver for my first time! LOVE IT.. This morning, I did nothing. I sat on my white ass for 4 hours. then decided to get up, and shower. I hit the store, made an appointment to get my hair done tomorrow morning, and paid the nasty bills of life..

Life is good.. 5 more LONG days until Mymon is home..

the vacation

As I sit here in our room in Madison Wisconsin,  I have realized that typing from my blackberry is impossible. come Monday, my ectronic leash ad myself will be besties again. Good news? Mymon Comes home on Thursday! Will fill in all the details tomorrow.

Cinco de What a shitty day

Today, the world lost a child well before his time. Jacob Randal Lawson died in Springfield Missouri with his momma by his side. Jacob was a transplant recipient (heart) who would have been 4 in August. Rejection came in fast and strong and there was nothing anyone could do for him. It is a very sad day here in the Momma house. Constant worry and fear of who will be next. I cannot think that way but it is difficult.

Today it takes......

Prayers

Takes Patience

As the parent of a 12 year old tween, I have learned that it takes patience. Can someone please tell me why it is my fault as a parent (according to a 12 year old) when she PLAGIARIZES and gets caught and gets an F? Do I remove all of her friends from the component? She has already lost entertainment... I am at my wits end. I guess if anyone could answer that question, they would be rich.. Damn it is not me... 

So this is my first BLOG Yikes

I plan on using this blog as my own personal journal through life. Someone may come across it and enjoy reading it, and it may just stay my personal venting space. Not everything that I post is going to be bright and shiny, because who am I kidding, I am only one person that can only do so much with what I have. With that being said...

It Takes Time... Time to know a person, time to learn, time to grow, time to become the person that you are going to be. It takes patience knowing that others my point out the faults that you may have no matter how minuscule they seem be. The little things no longer matter. it is the bigger picture. I have moved on from the little only to focus on the big. Big being happy healthy and ready to live for today.